1. Spending
their time on work
a. My grandmother’s
generation 1. Spending time at home with housework
2. Didn’t work for earn money
b.
My generation
1. Living their home less than my grandmother’s generation
2. Earning money as amount as men’s money
2. Using
technologic device
a. My grandmother’s generation
1. Using home appliances
b. My generation1. Addition to home appliances-using mobile phone
3.
Clothing style
a. My grandmother’s generation
1. Wearing long dress
2. Wearing black cloth
b. My generation
1. It isn’t matter that wearing long or short dress
2. Wearing head scarf
My Grandmother’s
Generation And My Generation
While our country is
developing, the rate of generation differences
is increasing day
by day.I can
give so easy examples from
my family. There are
a lot of
differences between my
grandmother’s generation and
my generation. For example;
spending time on
work, using technologic device
and clothing style.
First, my
grandmother’s generation spent
their time with housework. They didn’t
work for earning
money. Because only
men earned money
when they were
young. Nowadays, my generation
spend less time with
housework than my
grandmother’s generation. We are working
for earning money. We
don’t wait money
from only men. My
generation can earn money as
amount as men’s
money. However, my
generation can have job which men
can do.
Second, my grandmother’s
generation use technologic
device less than
my generation. They were
able to use only
home appliances.Also, my generation
can use home appliances.
Addition to home
appliances, my generation use
other technologic devices
such as mobile
phone , computer. Thanks to this
advantage , my generation
can do a lot of works in a short time.
Thirdly, clothing
style of my grandmother’s generation
differs from my
generation.They wore long
dresses and black
cloth. This style has
changed up our time.It
isn’t matter that wearing
long or short
dresses for my generation. Everybody can
wear everything. My generation
also wear headscarf.
Day by
day, new differences are
added to life. We
can say that these
differences will change
for every new
generation.
** Because (ᴗ) only men (ᴗ) earned (ᴗ) money when they were young. (R) (You cannot use these two dependent sentences in this way without any independent sentence.)
YanıtlaSil** They were able to use (ᴗ) only home appliances. My generation also can use home appliances. (You should use a transition between these two sentences.)
** It isn’t matter that long or short dresses for my generation. (R)
For example; spending time on work, using technologic device and clothing style. ----> These are your main points. Therefore, you should write them in a different way.
YanıtlaSilThanks to this ability , my generation can do works in a short time.---> You can say "a lot of works".
clothing style of my grandmother’s generation differ from my generation.----> SVA
Day by day, new differences are adding to life. ---> İt should be passive.
my grandmother’s generation use (?) technologic device less than my generation. = gr
YanıtlaSilthanks your the same feedbacks :)
YanıtlaSil1-You can also say that 'My generation can earn money as much as men earn.''
YanıtlaSil2-I think you should change this two sentence and you can use 'result conjunction' such as so, therefore.
3- 'Advantage' must be plural because you are saying 'devices' and giving examples.
4- In addition, your conclusion paragraph is too short.