2 Mart 2014 Pazar

First Draft: Comparison and Contrast Essay

  OUTLINE
1.  Spending   their   time on   work
a. My   grandmother’s   generation      
         1. Spending time at home with housework
         2. Didn’t work for earn money

   b. My generation
          1. Living their home less than my grandmother’s generation
         2. Earning money as amount as men’s money

 2. Using technologic device
a. My grandmother’s   generation

            1. Using home appliances
b. My generation
 
             1. Addition to home appliances-using mobile phone

  3. Clothing style
a. My grandmother’s   generation

           1. Wearing long dress
            2. Wearing black cloth
b. My generation

           1. It isn’t matter that wearing long or short dress
            2. Wearing head scarf

                                             
    My  Grandmother’s  Generation  And  My Generation
While our country is developing, the  rate  of generation   differences   is   increasing   day  by  day.I  can  give so easy  examples  from   my   family. There   are  a  lot  of  differences  between   my    grandmother’s    generation    and  my  generation. For   example;  spending   time   on  work, using  technologic  device  and  clothing  style.
  First, my  grandmother’s  generation  spent  their   time with  housework. They  didn’t  work  for   earning  money. Because   only   men   earned   money  when  they  were  young. Nowadays, my generation  spend  less   time with   housework   than  my  grandmother’s  generation. We  are working  for  earning  money. We  don’t  wait   money  from  only  men. My   generation  can earn  money as  amount   as   men’s  money. However, my  generation  can  have job which  men  can  do.
   Second, my  grandmother’s  generation  use  technologic  device  less  than  my  generation. They  were  able to use     only  home  appliances.Also, my  generation  can use  home  appliances. Addition  to  home   appliances, my  generation  use   other  technologic  devices  such  as  mobile  phone ,  computer. Thanks   to this  advantage ,  my  generation   can do a lot of works   in a short   time.
Thirdly,  clothing   style of my  grandmother’s  generation   differs from  my  generation.They  wore  long  dresses  and  black  cloth. This  style  has  changed  up our  time.It   isn’t   matter  that wearing long  or  short   dresses  for my  generation. Everybody   can  wear  everything. My  generation  also  wear headscarf.
Day  by  day, new  differences  are  added to  life.  We  can  say that  these  differences  will  change  for  every  new  generation.



5 yorum:

  1. ** Because (ᴗ) only men (ᴗ) earned (ᴗ) money when they were young. (R) (You cannot use these two dependent sentences in this way without any independent sentence.)
    ** They were able to use (ᴗ) only home appliances. My generation also can use home appliances. (You should use a transition between these two sentences.)
    ** It isn’t matter that long or short dresses for my generation. (R)

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  2. For example; spending time on work, using technologic device and clothing style. ----> These are your main points. Therefore, you should write them in a different way.
    Thanks to this ability , my generation can do works in a short time.---> You can say "a lot of works".
    clothing style of my grandmother’s generation differ from my generation.----> SVA
    Day by day, new differences are adding to life. ---> İt should be passive.

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  3. my grandmother’s generation use (?) technologic device less than my generation. = gr

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  4. thanks your the same feedbacks :)

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  5. 1-You can also say that 'My generation can earn money as much as men earn.''
    2-I think you should change this two sentence and you can use 'result conjunction' such as so, therefore.
    3- 'Advantage' must be plural because you are saying 'devices' and giving examples.
    4- In addition, your conclusion paragraph is too short. 

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