27 Mart 2014 Perşembe

comparision and contrast essay 2-First draft

 
                                   YOUNG PEOPLE AND OLD PEOPLE (LIKE A RABBIT AND TURTLE)

                    Last night there was my birthday party. I gave a party. I invited a lot of my relatives. That night was so wonderful. My cousins and I had got amusing time but I couldn’t say the same thing for my grandparents. While time was passing, they were getting bored. When we switched on music, they couldn’t stand music and they went to their home. That moment, I realized that young people’s lives do not like old people’s lives. In fact, the lives of young people and old people differ in terms of the time they spend activities, the kind of ideas, the speed of their movements, the using of technologic devices.

                 First, young people and old people spend different amounts of time with activities. Young people spend more time with activities than old people do. Young people always are energetic. They have a lot of parties, games. Generally, they do something in contrast old people aren’t busy. They sit at home and they go to out randomly. Their relatives visit them at their home. Old people only go weddings.

               Second, young people and old people have different ideas. Young people don’t think everything in detail. They can easily choose in contrast old people are so selective. For example; when young people want to buy a dress, they don’t wait to buy it. The important thing is young people’s feelings. Their ideas are for saving day. Old people don’t like young people. Choosing a dress or something else isn’t easy for old people. They think everything with details. When they think buy that dress, they think the next day.

               Third, young people and old people have different speeds to do something. Young people are more active than old people. Young people have advantage thanks to their body. Their body is dynamic and fresh. So, they don’t tired easily. They can run for a long time and they can work without break. Old people are absolutely different from young people for this state. Old people aren’t strong so they don’t do tiresome things. They like heavy working machine. After a while, their engine doesn’t start. Also, we can say that young people and old people like rabbit and turtle.

                The last difference is the using technologic devices. Young people use continual technology. They are interested in technologic devices. Formerly, people wrote letter but now, they use e-mail. Young people do all their needs with technology. Generally, old people don’t use technology. So, old people want to do something, they may spend a lot of time and they may come across difficulty.

                To sum up, people’s age affect their life. Young people and old people differ from each other. Whereas young people think their life is better than old people’s life, old people have opposite idea. This opposition is known for a long time. There is a word : ‘’Every age has different beauties.’’

           

 
                            

2 yorum:

  1. -Last night there was my birthday party. I gave a party. You could use ''and''
    -I realized that young people’s lives do not like old people’s lives. ''aren't like''
    -Young people spend more time (with activities) '' with doing activities''
    - go (to) out
    -When they think *buy that dress (gerund or infinitive)
    -Young people and old people *like rabbit and turtle ( be missing)
    -Young people use continual technology. (revise this sentence)

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  2. 1) I invited a lot of my relatives( revise this sentence.)
    2) I realized that young people’s lives *do not like old people’s lives . You had 3)used wrong word. It should be '' aren't like ''.
    4)When they think buy that dress, they think the next day. ( revise this sentence)
    5)Young people and old people *like rabbit and turtle. There isn't an auxiliary verb here.

    I liked your work ,but you can give some more specific examples in your body paragraphs.

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