22 Nisan 2014 Salı

Cause-Effect 2- first draft


                                               MUSIC IS FOOD FOR THE SOUL

            Music is a part of people’s culture and traditions. Every society has different kinds of music. Actually, every person listen different kinds of music. Your mood affects your music selection. For every mood, people listen to music. Generally, people think that music is food for the soul because there are the therapeutic effects of listening to music. Listening to music helps reducing stress, strengthening memory, working of heart, preventing of ageing human brain.

         One effect of music is that music can reduce stress. As a result of many researching, everyday listening music reduce stress. People who listen to music have more positive feelings. Music does not make the same effect on all people. The same music may show different effects depending on mood at that time. When you listen to your favorite music, you feel relax and positive. You should listen to music every time such as going to work or going to school.

         Another effect of music is that music can strengthen memory. Studying music lesson develop children’s brain more positive. Music lesson helps remember words in a list. People who took music lessons from an early age, has been observed to be more successful in remembering words. Listening to music should begin from infancy to benefit the positive effects of music. In California, after listening to a Mozart sonata, mice showed very high performance in tests of learning and memory.

        Another effect of music is that music affects working of heart. People meet with the music in the womb because even a man's heart depends on a regular rhythm. There is a relationship between music and heart health. Researchers have found that listening to upbeat music provides more blood flow to blood vessels. When you listen to anxiety and fear music, this rate is low. Also, music reduces anxiety. So, people feel less pain. On the other hand, music can reduce stress so heart is being affected positively.

         Another effect of music is that music prevents ageing of brain. Despite of the advancing age, music education may make a keen intelligence. Listening to classical music and activating different parts of the brain is very important. With those caveats, contacting with each other of brain cells are getting better quality and intelligence is increasing.

           In conclusion, effects of listening to music are that music helps reducing stress, strengthening memory, working of heart, preventing of ageing human brain. We can’t say that listening to music has always negative effects. There are a lot of people who damage themselves after listening to some music. For example, while people were listening to Müslüm Gürses, they were injured their body.

 

7 yorum:

  1. 1)Actually, every person listen different kinds of music. -2. line of intr.( subject- verb agreement)
    2) everyday listening music reduce stress.-2. line of 1. body p.(subject -verb agreemant)
    3) Studying music lesson develop children’s brain more positive- 2. line of 2.body p.( subject-verb agreement)

    YanıtlaSil
  2. 1-) listen different kinds of music ( listen is never followed by a noun. Use "to" and then a noun or a clause. (paragraph 1, line 2)

    2-) For every mood, people listen to music. (expand the sentence so that what you try to write might become more clear.) ( paragraph 1 ,line 3,4)

    3-) because there are the (wrong usage of article) therapeutic effects of listening to music. (paragraph 1, line 5)

    YanıtlaSil
    Yanıtlar
    1. 2) I think previous sentence supports this sentence. 'Thank you'

      Sil
  3. 1)People who took music lessons from an early age, has* been observed to be more successful in remembering words: Subject verb agreement ( 3. body paragraph).

    2)Listening to classical music and activating different parts of the brain is* very important : Subject verb agreement ( 4.body paragraph )

    3)We can’t* say that listening to music has always negative effects: we shouldn't use short form like can't in our essays. It is better to use ''cannot''.( conclusion parag.).

    YanıtlaSil
  4. 1)As a result of many researching, ( I think that it is better to use 'many researches' instead of using 'many researching'.)
    2)They were injured their body.(wrong usage of verb-last paragraph)

    YanıtlaSil